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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29537715">fight or flight.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousCupcake/pseuds/AnxiousCupcake'>AnxiousCupcake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste Needs Help, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Adrien gets that hug he needs tho, Aged Up, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Happy Ending, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Hurt Adrien Agreste, Hurt/Comfort, Im so sleepy my face hurts hahahaha, Ladrien if you squint, LadyNoir - Freeform, Marinette fucks up and she's trying to fix it, Mentions of alcohol and drugs, No Beta We Perish Like Hawkbutt Should, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, Some Swearing, there's a mild M theme but that's about it, this is technically an alternate route of the work that inspired this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:54:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29537715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxiousCupcake/pseuds/AnxiousCupcake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Marinette knew she shouldn't have run, but she was terrified that she'd ruined the lives of two of the men she loved in the same night. And once she'd run, it takes a lot for her to meet him again, and he's not doing well. They have a long talk about where they stand and Chat Noir has a much-needed break down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>fight or flight.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114061">Heal</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterparkerpanic/pseuds/peterparkerpanic">peterparkerpanic</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>you know me. thoughtless, beta-less bird-brain. another bird-brain product for you guys.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She wished she wasn’t that much of a coward. She wished her fight-or-flight instinct had not had her choose “<em> flight” </em> when his transformation dropped just as she bound Hawkmoth’s, no, <em> Gabriel’s </em> wrists. She regretted it but it was too late now, she thought morosely as she watched on the news what they were dubbing as the downfall of the Agreste Empire. And then pictures of <em> him </em> from last week, and last night. Pale, eye bruised, hair dishevelled. It wasn’t until then that her fight-or-flight instinct was triggered again. And she chose flight, <em> again. </em>But this time for the better. </p><p>Before she could talk herself out of it, she found herself slinking in through the same window she had entered the Agreste Manor six months ago. She was on high alert, listening for foreign sounds, but heard nothing except for soft snoring. The smell though; the rancid smell of alcohol was permeating the air, and she felt nauseous with guilt. </p><p>As she tried to feel her way through the dark, she cringed when she stumbled on something, presumably a glass bottle, that went clinking against the floor. Freezing when she heard the sound of shuffling, followed by a rustling of blankets. She looked around wildly towards the source of the sound when she heard multiple groans, making her stil in her tracks warily. </p><p>“Adrien?” she called out softly. </p><p>More rustling of sheets, and suddenly she was blinded by lights. Groaning, she shielded her eyes from the suddenly bright lights, trying to blink the spots away. </p><p>“<em> Ladybug </em>!?” </p><p>At the sound of the incredulous voice, her head cleared and she immediately looked towards the source of it, only just registering the feminine gasps that had followed. She stared at the sight of Adrien sitting up in bed, hair mussed up, torso bare as he stared back at her. Her eyes flickered over to the two clearly people-shaped lumps under the covers on either side of him, and suddenly she felt really uncomfortable. </p><p>She took a step back towards the window, desperately struggling for words that would not come; she had no idea what to say. She wasn’t sure what she expected, the tabloids and the news had said as much and yet… <em> And yet </em> she felt wholly unprepared for this. </p><p>Licking her lips, she took another step back, eyes fixed on Adrien who still seemed to be in shock. She let out a nervous chuckle, cringing at how shrill it sounded. </p><p>“Um…” she started, as she kept backing away. “Chat, I mean Adrien Noir, <em> Agreste, </em> um, <em> fuck </em> ,” she swore. “ <em> Ugh </em> this was a bad <em> bad </em>idea,” she muttered to herself, annoyed at putting herself in such an awkward situation. </p><p>
  <em> Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  </em>
</p><p>“I’ll see you around!” she said brightly, her voice cracking with nerves as her lower back finally hit the sill of the windowpan, and she whipped out her yoyo, spinning on her heel as she hooked her yoyo to the next building, thoughts carefully blank because she really had no idea what to think. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to. </p><p> </p><p>She swung blindly for a couple of minutes trying to keep her head on straight. When she felt her muscles start to scream in protest, she slowed down just as she felt a heavy mass slam into her side, taking her onto the roof of the building she’d just landed on. She started to fight back instinctively when she recognized the familiar weight of her partner, and stopped resisting as she lay on her back, hands pinned to the roof on either side of her head as she looked up into glowering green eyes.</p><p>“<em>S</em><em>top running </em>!” he snarled. </p><p>She gulped, knowing fully well that he wasn’t just talking about tonight. She licked her lips nervously, swallowing thickly before rasping out softly, “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>She felt his body relax above her, but he made no move to change their position, still looking expectantly at her, waiting for a response. Drawing in a shuddering breath, she looked away before responding. “I’m really, really sorry,” she repeated miserably. “I shouldn’t have run, but I… I was scared.”</p><p>Chat frowned at that, but looked at her indignantly almost as if asking what she could have possibly been scared about. When she sighed, he finally made to move off her, sitting with his back to the parapet wall of the roof, cross-legged. She stood up and dropped down next to him, just a few inches between them.</p><p>“When I saw who you were,” she said quietly, eyes on her fidgeting hands in her lap. “I… I was scared. I thought I’d ruined your life. I ran so I could process things and come back to you with a clear head…”</p><p>“Why didn’t you?” His tone was still cold, but she could hear the curiosity underneath.</p><p>“I… Well, when I never saw Chat Noir again, I thought… I thought you wanted to leave that life behind,” she said, hastily continuing when he growled. “I <em> know, </em> I <em> know </em>that was a stupid assumption, I shouldn’t have made it without even bothering to talk to you. I am very good at that… Jumping to conclusions,” she said bitterly, while Chat snorted in agreement. </p><p>“Don’t I know it.”</p><p>Not even half of it, she thought.</p><p>She couldn’t tell him that she had tried to reach out as Marinette. He didn’t want to see her either. Her imagination, as it was prone to do, ran wild and she couldn’t help but think that if he didn’t even want to see Marinette, there was no way he would want to see Ladybug. It was easy to convince herself of that when she felt fearful of his hate. Easier to <em> assume </em>than know for sure.</p><p>She sighed again. “And… the stuff I saw on the news, I really… I was sure you wanted to forget. I didn’t… I didn’t want to… I didn’t know <em> how </em> to...” she trailed away, in agitation, but didn’t complete her sentence. </p><p>It was stupid, but she was still scared. When she was having irrational thoughts, there was rarely anything that could talk her down. And she <em> knew </em> she had been irrational then and she was being irrational <em> now </em> but there was no helping it. </p><p>
  <em> I ran because the two boys I loved were the same people and I had somehow ruined both their lives in a single night.  </em>
</p><p>That was it. </p><p>And she’d thought he’d hate her for it. She knew it was stupid, that her <em> chaton </em> wasn’t that kind of a person. She knew <em> Adrien </em>wasn’t that kind of a person. But fear is an irrational thing. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just get it out of her head, or those words out of her mouth. Maybe because saying out loud made her feel vulnerable in a way she didn’t want to be. Or maybe it was just embarrassment at how stupid it sounded. </p><p>“I thought you hated me,” he said quietly, bringing her out of her frenzied thoughts. </p><p>“What?” she asked, startled when he mirrored her thoughts.</p><p>“When you ran,” he explained. “I thought you hated me when you realized I was<em> his </em>son.”</p><p>She let out a soft gasp, laying a hand on his knee, squeezing gently, willing him to understand. “I could never hate you. <em> Never, </em>” she said, rubbing soothing circles on his hand. </p><p>“Well, you should.”</p><p>He deflated, ears drooping as he looked away unsurely, suddenly looking so small. So unsure like the boy she had first met in the rain. She hated it, and she was so close to just climbing into his lap to give him the tightest hug she could. </p><p>“Chat Noir,” she said softly. Stricken, she realized he <em> meant </em>it. She shifted quickly to sit in front of him, mirroring him so both their knees were touching. “Adrien…”</p><p>She felt him shudder, his glazing with tears. </p><p>“I don’t hate you. I won’t, <em> ever </em>,” she said.</p><p>“<em> How </em> ?” His voice cracked, tears he had been fighting making their way down his face. “How can you not hate me, knowing what you do? All these years <em> wasted </em> because I was an idiot. I <em> lived </em> with him. I’m not just <em> Adrien, </em> I’m <em> Chat Noir </em> . I should’ve known. How can you not hate me, I should’ve <em> known </em>, LB.”</p><p>“Adrien, I <em> don’t </em>.”</p><p>She willed him to believe it, <em> somehow </em>. But the desolation did not leave him.</p><p>“He was my <em> father </em> . How could I <em> not have known </em>?”</p><p>“Kitty…” She started helplessly. </p><p>“He ruined our childhood!” he interrupted. “I <em> remember </em> what it was like for the two of us. I remember how much you hated him. I <em> held you </em>when you cried after fights with your parents-”</p><p>“<em> Yes </em> I <em> hate him </em> , Chat!” she cried. “I do. But not <em> you </em>-”</p><p>“-And your bestfriend. After your boyfriend broke up with you. All because you couldn’t <em> explain </em> . I could have <em> stopped all of it </em> ! I know you hated him, and if I had just <em>looked </em>been more alert! Maybe you were right, and maybe this was all a game to me. Maybe I should've taken this more seriously. If I had, you-”</p><p>"<em>Kitty, stop</em>!" she said at last, voice cracking, as she took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "You have to believe me. I don't... I <em>don't</em> hate you."</p><p>He sniffled, and she wiped his tears away. "<em>How</em>? He ruined your life. And I-"</p><p>"Adrien, stop," she said firmly. "<em>Stop</em>. This is not on <em>you alone. </em>We're partners, aren't we? You were <em>with me</em> all that time, weren't you? I'm worried about you, <em>chaton</em>. If you think he's ruined <em>my life</em>... I just... I'm worried about what it's doing to you. I... I don't hate you."</p><p>"You left," he whispers quietly. "You left though. Because you needed to convince yourself-"</p><p>"And I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life," she said with a wistful smile. "It was <em>panic</em> and nothing more."</p><p>She desperately wracked through her brains for <em>something, </em>anything, to convince him that she didn't hate him. That she was physically incapable of hating him. Worrying her lower lip she reached a decision. Inhaling deeply, she moved his hair out of his eyes. </p><p>"Adrien, can you please de-transform for me?" she asked quietly. </p><p>"What- Ladybug, I-"</p><p>"Please?"</p><p>With a sigh, he dropped his transformation and then it was just Adrien sitting there in his pajamas and hastily buttoned up shirt. Plagg looked around startled, eyes narrowing when he saw Ladybug. "Well, well, well. Look who-"</p><p>"Plagg, give us a moment," muttered Adrien.</p><p>Plagg huffed, glaring at Ladybug before flying off with a nod. </p><p>Adrien wouldn't look at her, slouched as he sat on the rooftop, curling in on himself. Ladybug scooted closer to him, prying his hands away from where he had them crossed tightly against his chest. She brought them to her lap and held them there, prying lose each of his tense fingers.</p><p>"Adrien."</p><p>"Adrien, look at me."</p><p>Her throat suddenly felt too dry, and she swallowed thickly, but made sure to keep eye contact. "I know this is not the time," she said, watching as his face started to crumple, and she continued quickly. "<em>But </em>I have to say this, because... Because I don't know how else to convince you that I don't hate you. Not at all. Not even a little bit."</p><p>Her heart started to pace and she let her eyes close for a moment before inhaling deeply. "Look, I'm not expecting you to say <em>anything </em>in response to what I'm about to tell you. If I had it my way, I wouldn't even be telling you right now," she said, letting out a watery chuckle.</p><p>"Ladybug, you don't have to-"</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>He let out a startled gasp and her eyes flew open. She held his gaze, drawing in a shuddering breath, her hands tightening around his. "I don't know how else to convince you that I simply, cannot <em>possibly </em>hate you. I am <em>in </em>love with you, Adrien Agreste. Chat Noir. I know my timing couldn't be worse, and I know you're in love with someone else now, but I don't know how else to just make you believe that <em>I. Don't. Hate. You."</em><span class="u"></span></p><p>"Despite-"</p><p>"Yes." She hesitated for only a second before steeling herself. She de-transformed, and he let out a startled yelp. "Without question."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Yeah," she said, giving him a small smile. "Hi, Adrien."</p><p>He gaped at her in shock. "You... You called me."</p><p>"About 183 times, yes."</p><p>A fleeting moment of silence as she looked at him unsurely. </p><p>"You're... You're <em>Marinette</em>." His eyes were brimming with fresh tears.</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, I am."</p><p>"You're <em>Marinette </em>and you love<em> me.</em>" His voice was shaky. </p><p>"Yeah, I do." Her voice cracked, hating how stricken he looked.</p><p>"E-Even after what you... <em>Saw</em>?"</p><p>Oh. </p><p>Right. </p><p>She hadn't let herself think about what she had seen when she had first entered his room. Or what she'd seen on the news and in the magazines. It had hurt way too much, and she felt like she didn't have the right to really dwell on it, not when he was hurting so badly. Not when she'd had a hand in it. But the truth was, despite the hurt she hadn't let herself feel, she did love him. More than anything. So she bit down hard on her lip - lest the wobble in her voice made him doubt the truth of her words - and nodded once, clear in affirmation. </p><p>"Liar. I saw how you took off, all nervous and uncomfortable," he remarked, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Come to think of it, that should've been a dead giveaway of who you really are, Mar."</p><p>She resisted letting out an indignant snort. She knew him enough to know he was evading. So she did what she had been wanting to for a while now. She raised herself on her knees so she could lean over and pull him in a hug. She could cry in relief at how he didn't resist. She tucked his head under her chin, cheek resting on his hair as she rubbed a soothing hand down his back. </p><p>"I love you, Adrien Agreste," she said quietly, as she felt his hands slowly, hesitantly, wrap around her. "Whether you like it or not, and I don't care what you did or didn't. What your father did, or didn't do. I love you, and... And I just want you to be okay."</p><p>She held him as he cried the last of his tears. She held him as he placed a wet, sloppy kiss against her neck, murmuring a quiet 'Thanks'. She held him as he fell asleep, and called her for her transformation quietly, making sure to shield his eyes from the bright light. She held him close despite the exhaustion that was starting to seep into her bones, as she carried him over the rooftops to her apartment. Even after tucking him in her bed and slipping under the covers next to him, she held him close.</p><p>"Mar?" He stirred against her collarbone.</p><p>"I'm right here," she said assuringly, running her hands carefully through his hair. </p><p>"Thank you." His voice warbled.</p><p>"Always," she promised. </p><p>"Hey, Mar?" He nestled further into her neck, drawing in a deep breath and letting go. </p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>She froze, her fingers stilling in his hair as she looked down at him. His eyes were closed as he let out a gentle sigh before nuzzling her hand. She felt herself smile, and she kissed his forehead firmly before resuming her minstrations in his hair. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oops got a little corny in the end huh. #noregrets. ( i might have some when i wake up tomorrow morning, who knows with this bird-brain of mine. )</p></blockquote></div></div>
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